How to Choose Wedding Buttonholes That Suit You

A wedding buttonhole may be small, but it has a big job to do. It sits right at the centre of every greeting, hug and photograph, tying the wedding party into your flowers without stealing attention from the bridal bouquet. The best choices look effortless, feel personal and stay fresh from the ceremony through to the last dance.

If you are wondering how to choose wedding buttonholes, begin with the people wearing them rather than the flower varieties. Once you know who needs one, the colours, scale and finishing details become much easier to decide.

Start with who will wear a buttonhole

Traditionally, buttonholes are worn by the groom, best man, ushers, fathers and grandfathers. You may also choose them for page boys, wedding readers or close friends who have played a special part in the day. There is no rule saying every male guest needs one. Keeping them for the wedding party helps them feel considered and makes the group easy to spot in photographs.

The groom’s buttonhole should be the most distinctive. It might feature a flower from the bridal bouquet, a slightly fuller design, or a detail that picks up the bride’s ribbon or dress. The best man and ushers can wear coordinated versions that are a touch simpler. This gentle difference gives the groom his moment without making the group look mismatched.

For fathers and grandfathers, comfort matters as much as style. A neat, lightweight design is usually best, particularly if they are wearing a softer suit fabric or are not used to having flowers pinned to a lapel. For younger attendants, choose something sturdy and compact, with no delicate stems likely to be crushed during an excited hug.

Let the bridal bouquet set the direction

Your buttonholes do not need to be tiny copies of the bridal bouquet. In fact, they often look better when they echo its character rather than repeat every stem. A single bloom, a sprig of foliage and a little texture can say plenty.

If the bouquet is romantic and garden-inspired, a buttonhole might include a spray rose, sweet peas when in season, astrantia or a little waxflower. For a modern bouquet with clean lines, an orchid, calla lily or simple rosebud can create a similarly refined finish. Wildflower-inspired weddings suit more relaxed combinations of delicate blooms, grasses and seasonal foliage.

Colour is where a florist’s eye is particularly useful. Choose one main colour that connects to the bouquet, then allow the foliage or smaller flowers to soften it. Pure white flowers against a pale shirt can disappear in photographs, so a touch of greenery, ivory ribbon or a deeper centre can make the design more visible. Equally, a very bright buttonhole can dominate a subtle bridal bouquet if it is not carefully balanced.

Match, do not over-match

Matching every wedding detail exactly can make flowers feel a little flat. Instead, aim for a family resemblance. A blush rose in the bouquet can be paired with a deeper dusty pink bud on the groom, while sage foliage might appear across both arrangements. The overall look will feel cohesive, but still natural and thoughtfully made.

This is also useful if your wedding party is wearing different suit shades. Navy, charcoal, black, beige and green suits all change the way a flower colour appears. Hold a fabric swatch beside your proposed flowers before finalising the design. Cream and pale peach can look beautiful against navy, for example, while richer burgundy, rust or white often shows up well on dark charcoal.

Choose flowers that suit the season and setting

Seasonal flowers are not simply a lovely idea on paper. They are often at their best, more readily available and naturally suited to the time of year. A spring buttonhole might feel light and fresh with ranunculus, muscari or blossom-inspired stems. Summer offers roses, scabious and fragrant herbs, while autumn welcomes richer tones, berries and textured foliage. Winter celebrations can carry deeper blooms, evergreen touches or a small thistle for a crisp, wintry feel.

Your venue matters too. For a formal town venue, a sleek rose or orchid buttonhole can complement the setting and a tailored suit. At a barn, garden or countryside wedding, looser stems and more foliage may feel right at home. Neither approach is more special - it depends on whether you want polished simplicity or a softer, gathered-from-the-garden mood.

Bear in mind that some flowers are more delicate than others. Hydrangea, for instance, is beautiful but can be thirsty, and very fine blooms may not enjoy a hot August ceremony or a long journey between venues. A good florist can suggest flowers with the right balance of beauty and staying power for your plans.

Get the size and shape right

A buttonhole should sit comfortably on the left lapel, over the heart, and look in proportion to the wearer. It should not be so large that it twists the jacket or gets in the way when someone leans in for a hug. One focal flower is usually enough, supported by small flowers or foliage.

Larger blooms can work, but they need careful construction. A full garden rose may suit a groom in a broad-lapel suit, whereas a smaller spray rose or ranunculus can be more flattering on a slim-cut jacket. If your party includes waistcoats without jackets, check how the buttonholes will be attached. They may need a different fixing method, or a small floral detail worn elsewhere may be more practical.

The stem finish matters more than many couples expect. Ribbon can be chosen to coordinate with the bouquet, bridesmaid dresses or a subtle wedding accent colour. Twine and natural tape create a relaxed look, while a neat satin or silk ribbon feels more formal. Keep it tidy and restrained: the flower should always be the focus.

How to choose wedding buttonholes for mixed wedding parties

Weddings do not always follow traditional roles, and your flowers can reflect that. Anyone can wear a buttonhole, corsage, flower pin or small floral accessory. The important thing is that the choice feels comfortable and intentional.

If some members of the party are in dresses and others are in suits, you might use buttonholes for lapels and wrist corsages for those who would prefer not to pin flowers to clothing. A pocket square with a floral detail can be a smart alternative for someone who does not want a full buttonhole. For a person using a wheelchair, a buttonhole can still work beautifully on a jacket lapel, shawl or bag, depending on what feels easiest and most secure.

There is also no need for everyone to wear the same flower. You could give the groom a rose, the best person a smaller rosebud, and parents a coordinating seasonal stem. The shared palette and style will hold the look together.

Plan the practical details before the wedding morning

Buttonholes should be made as close to the wedding as possible and kept cool until they are needed. Ask your florist how they will be packaged, whether pins are included and when they should be removed from any water source or protective box. If you are collecting flowers yourself, leave room in the car and keep them out of direct sunlight.

Appoint one calm, practical person to distribute and pin them on the morning. Each buttonhole is normally worn on the left lapel, with the flower facing outwards and the stem angled down. It is worth having a few spare pins available, especially for thicker lapels or anyone who is nervous about fixing one in place.

At LucieBees, our real florists handcraft wedding flowers with these small but meaningful details in mind, so your buttonholes feel like part of the celebration rather than an afterthought.

When you make your final choice, picture the people you love standing together before the ceremony begins. A well-chosen buttonhole is a quiet finishing touch, but it says that each person has a place in your day - and that is what makes it memorable.